We must first apologize for our extended absence. Lots of shiz happened, lives got hectic(and still are), and interesting things went down. But we now have a new resolve to post our thoughts pertaining to the world around us, and help young men and women (but mostly women) figure out how to not be stupid.
We've noticed a lot of people getting married around us and we thought "Good job bro." But we've noticed a lot of girls complaining about the guys in their life. Things like "Why are guys stupid?" "No plans tonight! (Thanks guys..)" And many various forms of slander against the male population.
To address the "Why are guys stupid?" issue, we must first identify the 3 types of dudes. There's the douche bags/tools, the shy/nerdy guys, and the average Joes that just don't give enough of a crap to try. The common douche bag can be found looking at the windows around campus, not to look at the girls inside, but rather to observe himself and how well his new protein powder is working in the past 30 minutes. The average nerdy guy is the one that sits in the front of class and will have a very good looking wife one day with an ungodly large house (this is the guy you want). The average Joe is every other guy who just goes through his day, not checking himself out or figuring out a way to hack the registry on the campus servers.
Girls, your problem is that you hang out with the wrong guys. Sure the douche bags SEEM cool and caring. They actually are just there for the story. Think of them like reporters trying to get all the juicy details of the newest (or not so new) hottest thing. They get the story and move on to the next big story. Guys usually hear about the stories of how the guy made out with this super hot chick one night, then got bored with her. Ladies if the guy isn't texting you back or wanting to be with you it's because either he is super busy or a super douche.
So, the main point here is that when girls complain about stupid guys and how they're effing up the girl's life, it is actually the girl's fault the majority of the time. If you want to end up with a good guy, then surround yourself with good guys. No more of this "but he's SOO HOTT!!" The douche bag population needs to be minimized, and this will only happen if they learn their lesson. In the St. George area alone, there are more tools than in all the Home Depots and Sears in the state of Utah. Douche bags are also what we like to refer to as "Nice guy repellent". Nice guys do not like to be around your douche friends.
In short, it is the guys who respect you, help you and don't want anything in return, and the guy who you wouldn't mind your family around, is the guy you should try to be with. So the next time you see that nerd in front of the class answering all the questions. Maybe you should get to know him. He might be cooler than you think. Or he could also be a major douche, but you'll never know if you don't try.
Obi-Wan: Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, November 5, 2012
No Man's Land
After much contemplating and deliberation (with a hint of laziness) we are ready to discuss what we left for you all about three weeks ago. Girls not knowing what they want. Let's be honest here, girls you don't have a clue what kind of man you want. Sure you can generalize and say " Well he needs to be nice and caring. Good with children, and cute!" Sure we can all agree on these points. Most guys fill these demands. However, what now? What more do you want from a man who has filled these slots? This is where it starts getting murky and the girl panics because she isn't for sure if he is "the one". This is also when the girl in question starts justifying herself and making other random comments that make absolutely no sense (Be honest to yourself girls, you know that this is true) You see, all of us like to pretend like there is someone out there who meets all of the criteria that we expect. Those of the female persuasion are 68.9% more guilty of this.
We're going to be very straight forward with this; if you think that there is someone out there who fits perfectly onto your shopping list requirement, shut up. If we try to find someone who meets such and such criteria, we are limiting ourselves to what we can find. Sorry ladies, there is only 1 Channing Tatum, only one Captain America, one Thor, one Ryan Gosling, and recent studies have found that Justin Bieber is actually a woman. The majority of guys are nice gentlemen who do their best to do their duty to God and their country, but are also simple creatures who do simple things. Are there giant douche bags out there? Of course! But they don't make up a very sizable portion of man population.
Girls, stop limiting yourselves by putting such hard criteria on our fellow men. It's a hard enough life out there. We understand that you just don't wanna accept any guy, and we aren't saying every guy you come into contact with is the guy you need to hook up with. What we are saying is that IF there is a chance that you may feel something for this guy, don't just squash it with ideas like "it just wouldn't work" or "we are just friends". But the friend issue is a different beast for a different day.
Girls just go on a date with the guy, if he doesn't ask you.. well.. ask him! This could help you in finding the right guy. Trust us, most guys will end up paying even if the girl asked him to go on the date So no matter what, you still end up getting a free meal out of it. Many great things happen when the woman takes the initiative to be the aggressor. But not too often because it is kind of awkward. But 56.85% of guys need a good solid kick in the butt and that is one way of doing it, and then he'll take care of the rest.
Think of dating like Lord of the Rings. The objective was to take the ring to mount doom and destroy it. The objective of dating is to get married (don't worry, this has absolutely nothing to do with destroying things in a fiery pit.) The fellowship had a plan to do it. However, this plan went to crap and they had stuff that went down, i.e. Gandalf "dying", Boromir dying, Sam and Frodo peacing out, etc. Good grief, they even hung out with Gollum for awhile! But eventually they succeeded. Sometimes you have to date a Gollum in order to fulfill your purpose and save Middle-Earth. (And then you get to marry Legolas)
Stop worrying about "the guy" he will come, but in order for "the guy" to come around you need to date "a guy" don't worry.. keep looking for that guy who makes you get the cold chills or makes you laugh and smile for .... mmm.. no reason what-so-ever. He will come but you first got to get rid of notions that he needs to be "HIM!!!!" as soon as he walks through your door.
Guys get your act together and ask some of these sweet, hot smoking babes out there. We ourselves have set goals and we intend to accomplish these goals. Who knows maybe we will find that babe every guy dreams about. And when we say babe.. we mean that good girl who loves life, laughs easy, and enjoys our company. It's a very confusing world out there, but that's how it has always been. So stop complaining, stop making excuses, stop .. just stop. Stop hanging with guys you know you shouldn't, stop hanging with those questionable girls and lets get our act together!
Moral of the story, don't be stupid.
"My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men."
"This isn't a car."
-Catwoman and Batman
Seriously, don't be stupid,
Eric and Quincy
We're going to be very straight forward with this; if you think that there is someone out there who fits perfectly onto your shopping list requirement, shut up. If we try to find someone who meets such and such criteria, we are limiting ourselves to what we can find. Sorry ladies, there is only 1 Channing Tatum, only one Captain America, one Thor, one Ryan Gosling, and recent studies have found that Justin Bieber is actually a woman. The majority of guys are nice gentlemen who do their best to do their duty to God and their country, but are also simple creatures who do simple things. Are there giant douche bags out there? Of course! But they don't make up a very sizable portion of man population.
Girls, stop limiting yourselves by putting such hard criteria on our fellow men. It's a hard enough life out there. We understand that you just don't wanna accept any guy, and we aren't saying every guy you come into contact with is the guy you need to hook up with. What we are saying is that IF there is a chance that you may feel something for this guy, don't just squash it with ideas like "it just wouldn't work" or "we are just friends". But the friend issue is a different beast for a different day.
Girls just go on a date with the guy, if he doesn't ask you.. well.. ask him! This could help you in finding the right guy. Trust us, most guys will end up paying even if the girl asked him to go on the date So no matter what, you still end up getting a free meal out of it. Many great things happen when the woman takes the initiative to be the aggressor. But not too often because it is kind of awkward. But 56.85% of guys need a good solid kick in the butt and that is one way of doing it, and then he'll take care of the rest.
Think of dating like Lord of the Rings. The objective was to take the ring to mount doom and destroy it. The objective of dating is to get married (don't worry, this has absolutely nothing to do with destroying things in a fiery pit.) The fellowship had a plan to do it. However, this plan went to crap and they had stuff that went down, i.e. Gandalf "dying", Boromir dying, Sam and Frodo peacing out, etc. Good grief, they even hung out with Gollum for awhile! But eventually they succeeded. Sometimes you have to date a Gollum in order to fulfill your purpose and save Middle-Earth. (And then you get to marry Legolas)
Stop worrying about "the guy" he will come, but in order for "the guy" to come around you need to date "a guy" don't worry.. keep looking for that guy who makes you get the cold chills or makes you laugh and smile for .... mmm.. no reason what-so-ever. He will come but you first got to get rid of notions that he needs to be "HIM!!!!" as soon as he walks through your door.
Guys get your act together and ask some of these sweet, hot smoking babes out there. We ourselves have set goals and we intend to accomplish these goals. Who knows maybe we will find that babe every guy dreams about. And when we say babe.. we mean that good girl who loves life, laughs easy, and enjoys our company. It's a very confusing world out there, but that's how it has always been. So stop complaining, stop making excuses, stop .. just stop. Stop hanging with guys you know you shouldn't, stop hanging with those questionable girls and lets get our act together!
Moral of the story, don't be stupid.
"My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men."
"This isn't a car."
-Catwoman and Batman
Seriously, don't be stupid,
Eric and Quincy
Monday, October 15, 2012
Living in the "nothing box"
In the past week or so our lives have been drastically changed by our recent discovery of "nothing boxes", thanks to a youtube video titled "A tale of two brains." Every man in the universe possesses one of these, but many do not have the understanding of what exactly it is. Simply put, it is the section of the brain where a man goes when he desires to think about nothing. It is the one of the greatest gifts that the Almighty God has bestowed upon his sons. Don't want to concern yourself with random drama or problems? Boom, its nothing box time. Women often become irritated or confused when they observe a man staring off into nothingness with an empty look on his face. The nothing box at its best.
Now that you understand this concept (and if you don't then stop reading immediately and go find that video on youtube. Trust us, your life will make a lot more sense), we can get into the good stuff. The other day as I was sitting around playing the "not-study" game, my mind wandered off into the nothing box for some time. As I was thus enjoying this precious time, I was called back into the world of thought by a text message from one of my friends. The text read "hey." I was no longer at ease. One of the pet peeves of many people, guys and girls, is the one-word texts or the texts that say "hey" or "whats up". When a girl texts this to a guy, what he thinks is that this girl is bored and so she sent out a mass text to many of her friends just to get some conversation to occupy herself, even if this is not the case. What a girl thinks when she receives one of these messages from a guy is "this guy just wants me," especially if this occurs after midnight. This is true about 39.6% of the time, and when received after midnight the likelihood increases to 97.956%. Moral of that story is nothing good happens from a text received after midnight expecting an immediate reply. But anyway, in response to this message from my friend, I did the most logical thing; I chose to not reply, the best choice to make in that situation when you don't want to make the other think anything, even though she will.
Girls you must understand that when a guy doesn't reply back to your text there may be a few things going on in this guys mind. Firstly, he doesn't know what to say back and thus he will not reply. Secondly, maybe things were happening around him that caught his attention, like a football game, food, work, or he may not be paying attention to his phone at all. Always account for nothing box time. That doesn't mean he don't like you! That just means you should try to text longer texts that show you put some thought into your message. A simple, "hey" doesn't show much interest. Going along with that, if a guy takes his precious time to shoot you a text then maybe you should take some time to reply to him AND most importantly leave him an opening so he doesn't have to think what to say next because if you aren't careful he may just end up not responding.
So that's a good little covering of the one word text issue. As with everything else in life, a fundamental rule to that is "don't be stupid." Now we will briefly introduce the topic that will be dealt with more in depth in the next post; the concept of how girls have no idea what they want. As we state all the time, women are a very confusing gender. Guys, don't try too hard to understand them. Trust us, we've spent 22 years trying to do that and we haven't made much progress. Just run to your nothing box and be happy. But getting back to the subject, all girls think that they want something, even though more than half of them do not actually want what they think they want. For example, a good portion of girls claim that they don't like guys who have really big muscles, guys who don't treat them right, guys with facial hair, etc. Then what happens? They start dating the guy that has a giant "I'm a douche" stamp right across his skank-tank wearing face. And these girls also have a poster of Thor, with his giant muscles and rugged facial hair. Then these girls end up angry that Captain D-bag dumps them, and they complain about how no nice guy wants them. Remember, nice guys do finish last, but only because they allow themselves to! This is for you too guys. If you notice with high school and college dating, it seems that nice guys never end up with nice girls, mainly because both finish last and they refuse to get with each other because they're "just friends."
This is where we issue all of you a challenge. In preparation for our next post, sometime this week go out and try to make something happen with a nice guy/girl who is "just a friend", and see what happens. It doesn't have to be anything serious, but just make it so that the nice guy/girl doesn't finish last, even if for only one day.
"Dating is all about who wins and who loses."
-Hank Hill
Off to the nothing box,
Quincy and Eric
Monday, October 8, 2012
The Famine
It was a normal Saturday morning. Eric had woken and gone to the gym to keep his rippling muscles big and extremely toned, and Quincy was waking up from a hard night of amazingness. They gathered in the room of gathering to watch the first session of the 182nd semi-annual conference of la Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ultimos Dias, desde la manzana del templo en Salt Lake City, Utah. At 10 am, the conference began with singing and excitement. Eric and Quincy sat quietly, enjoying the sweet spirit that could be felt in their humble abode. President Thomas S. Monson stood up to the pulpit in his welcoming address and announced the 2 new temples that would be erected in the coming years; Tuscon, Arizona and Arequipa, Peru. "Darn" they thought "still no McAllen, Texas temple." They both noted that the dear prophet had listed these off in a very fast fashion. "Hmmm," said Eric "some serious stuff is about to go down."
That's when some serious stuff did go down. After talking about missionaries being 18 from different countries serving just as great as 19 year olds, Quincy knew that the age for missionaries was about to change. It did. No big deal that's only like a year less to prepare for some so hey it'll be fine. But then President Monson dropped the nuke on every guy in that conference. He didn't technically say this but in guys minds this is how it sounded, "Boys, there's gonna be a famine in the land. Not a famine of bread, nor of water, but a famine of girls. Why is that? Because we decided to drop the age to 19 for girls to go on a mission. Know that girl you've been planning things for/with you? Either get a move on or she will get her move on and drop you for a name tag. This won't have your last name on it." Quincy & Eric's mouths dropped.
Yeah you read that right; and if you're mormon or pay attention to mormon things at all, you definitely saw the facebook and twitter world explode at that very moment. Mormon culture just got flipped-turned upside-down. That's right, more girls are going to go on those 18 month adventures, and it won't be just because they can't get married or have been set on it their whole lives. How do we feel about it? You go girls, more power to ya. The only problem is that this completely screws over the upstanding gentlemen who have recently returned from honorable full-time missions and just haven't had the opportunity to find that special young lady with whom to share eternity. According to random made-up statistics based on how many phone calls/text messages Bishop received, approximately 75 % Girls in the 18-22 age bracket will be gone within the next year.
We know we got problems now. Maybe things will be better than we are expecting? But we like to focus on the doom and gloom. That's the way uh huh uh huh we like it. Ok. Honestly though the problem we have is that we haven't followed the prophets counsel which is, stocking up on our 2 year supply of girls. Now we are feeling the pressure. WE think that the prophet is sending out a good message to us guys. This message being, "Hey you don't wanna date these hotties? Alrighty then we will send them away for a year and a half. How do you like them apples?"
Yeah, it's all new and some of the hype will probably die down after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe all the girls are saying that they'll leave on missions just to get guys to ask them on more dates or get the wheels on the marriage wagon movin' a little bit faster. Or maybe they're serious and colleges all across Utah will be a giant sausage fest for the next two-ish years. No matter what happens, there is always more important things to focus on in life. Like football. How about that BYU-USU game the other night? Yeah garbage, we know. Sports is the best life partner that you can have; they don't leave for 18 months. But you also can't write a "Dear Jane" letter to sports. Girls will now experience what guys do on the mission. Prepare yourselves :) But honestly, good job. Get out there and teach the gospel because Elders just aren't very good at it. Baptize peeps! More good looking missionaries=more conversion to the gospel.
"So do all men who live to see such times. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf
Yeah,
Eric & Quincy
That's when some serious stuff did go down. After talking about missionaries being 18 from different countries serving just as great as 19 year olds, Quincy knew that the age for missionaries was about to change. It did. No big deal that's only like a year less to prepare for some so hey it'll be fine. But then President Monson dropped the nuke on every guy in that conference. He didn't technically say this but in guys minds this is how it sounded, "Boys, there's gonna be a famine in the land. Not a famine of bread, nor of water, but a famine of girls. Why is that? Because we decided to drop the age to 19 for girls to go on a mission. Know that girl you've been planning things for/with you? Either get a move on or she will get her move on and drop you for a name tag. This won't have your last name on it." Quincy & Eric's mouths dropped.
Yeah you read that right; and if you're mormon or pay attention to mormon things at all, you definitely saw the facebook and twitter world explode at that very moment. Mormon culture just got flipped-turned upside-down. That's right, more girls are going to go on those 18 month adventures, and it won't be just because they can't get married or have been set on it their whole lives. How do we feel about it? You go girls, more power to ya. The only problem is that this completely screws over the upstanding gentlemen who have recently returned from honorable full-time missions and just haven't had the opportunity to find that special young lady with whom to share eternity. According to random made-up statistics based on how many phone calls/text messages Bishop received, approximately 75 % Girls in the 18-22 age bracket will be gone within the next year.
We know we got problems now. Maybe things will be better than we are expecting? But we like to focus on the doom and gloom. That's the way uh huh uh huh we like it. Ok. Honestly though the problem we have is that we haven't followed the prophets counsel which is, stocking up on our 2 year supply of girls. Now we are feeling the pressure. WE think that the prophet is sending out a good message to us guys. This message being, "Hey you don't wanna date these hotties? Alrighty then we will send them away for a year and a half. How do you like them apples?"
Yeah, it's all new and some of the hype will probably die down after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe all the girls are saying that they'll leave on missions just to get guys to ask them on more dates or get the wheels on the marriage wagon movin' a little bit faster. Or maybe they're serious and colleges all across Utah will be a giant sausage fest for the next two-ish years. No matter what happens, there is always more important things to focus on in life. Like football. How about that BYU-USU game the other night? Yeah garbage, we know. Sports is the best life partner that you can have; they don't leave for 18 months. But you also can't write a "Dear Jane" letter to sports. Girls will now experience what guys do on the mission. Prepare yourselves :) But honestly, good job. Get out there and teach the gospel because Elders just aren't very good at it. Baptize peeps! More good looking missionaries=more conversion to the gospel.
"So do all men who live to see such times. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf
Yeah,
Eric & Quincy
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Still Not Ripe
The first of many posts by Try The Banana. We (that's Eric and Quincy) will be discussing all the things that randomly come to our mind. For example, we decided one night we would make a blog, thus we have a blog now.
And we saw that the blog was good, and we divided it from the not good blogs. Thus saith the Lord of the Rings, blessed shall be he who bloggeth for good. But he that bloggeth for evil shall be cursed. This is what goes through our mind as we sit in institute. (Besides the burning desire within the bosom to ask out the cute girl in front...)
Ehem.. as we were saying this blog is gonna be random.. I'll give you a few seconds to look up "random" in the dictionary... you back? Good. Now that you understand this concept we can move on.
So today while walking around campus, I observed a tall, blonde girl walking a few yards in front of me. What drew my attention was the letters of "bubbly" written across the line of demarcation of her booty. To my mind came the thought "wow, I think she wants me to look and read that". This was not the case. Long story short, I had a sharp pain burning through my groin area a few seconds later.
That can happen you know. Sadly to say I bet she liked it. Not the part of you looking at her curving feature, but when her knee was able to swing up and knock some sense into you. Haha just joking. Honestly it's a confusing world out there today when a girl will wear words across her gluteus maximus to draw the attention of the desperate guys of todays world. It's an interesting thought that such a part on a woman can cause some of us men to stare and end up driving our cars right up a streetlight.
As you might have noticed, the majority of our posts will focus and reflect on the confusing nature of the cuddly critter that is the woman. Will we succeed in understanding them? Of course not. Somehow that is not what the good book says we should know. But we will share insights, questions, comments, and random stories to help us express what is dying to get off of our chests.
Trust us, we have a lot of nothing to say about subjects. You might even get confused. Get used to it.
Harry: Why do they have to travel in packs? And how are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?
[Stops in front of a group of girls, hesitates, then continues walking]
Ron: Blimey, Harry. You've slayed dragons. If you can't get a date, who can?
Boom.
Eric & Quincy
Currently found at D8 (come join us)
And we saw that the blog was good, and we divided it from the not good blogs. Thus saith the Lord of the Rings, blessed shall be he who bloggeth for good. But he that bloggeth for evil shall be cursed. This is what goes through our mind as we sit in institute. (Besides the burning desire within the bosom to ask out the cute girl in front...)
Ehem.. as we were saying this blog is gonna be random.. I'll give you a few seconds to look up "random" in the dictionary... you back? Good. Now that you understand this concept we can move on.
So today while walking around campus, I observed a tall, blonde girl walking a few yards in front of me. What drew my attention was the letters of "bubbly" written across the line of demarcation of her booty. To my mind came the thought "wow, I think she wants me to look and read that". This was not the case. Long story short, I had a sharp pain burning through my groin area a few seconds later.
That can happen you know. Sadly to say I bet she liked it. Not the part of you looking at her curving feature, but when her knee was able to swing up and knock some sense into you. Haha just joking. Honestly it's a confusing world out there today when a girl will wear words across her gluteus maximus to draw the attention of the desperate guys of todays world. It's an interesting thought that such a part on a woman can cause some of us men to stare and end up driving our cars right up a streetlight.
As you might have noticed, the majority of our posts will focus and reflect on the confusing nature of the cuddly critter that is the woman. Will we succeed in understanding them? Of course not. Somehow that is not what the good book says we should know. But we will share insights, questions, comments, and random stories to help us express what is dying to get off of our chests.
Trust us, we have a lot of nothing to say about subjects. You might even get confused. Get used to it.
Harry: Why do they have to travel in packs? And how are you supposed to get one on their own to ask them?
[Stops in front of a group of girls, hesitates, then continues walking]
Ron: Blimey, Harry. You've slayed dragons. If you can't get a date, who can?
Boom.
Eric & Quincy
Currently found at D8 (come join us)
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