Living in the "nothing box"

In the past week or so our lives have been drastically changed by our recent discovery of "nothing boxes", thanks to a youtube video titled "A tale of two brains." Every man in the universe possesses one of these, but many do not have the understanding of what exactly it is. Simply put, it is the section of the brain where a man goes when he desires to think about nothing. It is the one of the greatest gifts that the Almighty God has bestowed upon his sons. Don't want to concern yourself with random drama or problems? Boom, its nothing box time. Women often become irritated or confused when they observe a man staring off into nothingness with an empty look on his face. The nothing box at its best.

Now that you understand this concept (and if you don't then stop reading immediately and go find that video on youtube. Trust us, your life will make a lot more sense), we can get into the good stuff. The other day as I was sitting around playing the "not-study" game, my mind wandered off into the nothing box for some time. As I was thus enjoying this precious time, I was called back into the world of thought by a text message from one of my friends. The text read "hey." I was no longer at ease. One of the pet peeves of many people, guys and girls, is the one-word texts or the texts that say "hey" or "whats up". When a girl texts this to a guy, what he thinks is that this girl is bored and so she sent out a mass text to many of her friends just to get some conversation to occupy herself, even if this is not the case. What a girl thinks when she receives one of these messages from a guy is "this guy just wants me," especially if this occurs after midnight. This is true about 39.6% of the time, and when received after midnight the likelihood increases to 97.956%. Moral of that story is nothing good happens from a text received after midnight expecting an immediate reply. But anyway, in response to this message from my friend, I did the most logical thing; I chose to not reply, the best choice to make in that situation when you don't want to make the other think anything, even though she will.

Girls you must understand that when a guy doesn't reply back to your text there may be a few things going on in this guys mind. Firstly, he doesn't know what to say back and thus he will not reply. Secondly, maybe things were happening around him that caught his attention, like a football game, food, work, or he may not be paying attention to his phone at all. Always account for nothing box time. That doesn't mean he don't like you! That just means you should try to text longer texts that show you put some thought into your message. A simple, "hey" doesn't show much interest. Going along with that, if a guy takes his precious time to shoot you a text then maybe you should take some time to reply to him AND most importantly leave him an opening so he doesn't have to think what to say next because if you aren't careful he may just end up not responding.

So that's a good little covering of the one word text issue. As with everything else in life, a fundamental rule to that is "don't be stupid." Now we will briefly introduce the topic that will be dealt with more in depth in the next post; the concept of how girls have no idea what they want. As we state all the time, women are a very confusing gender. Guys, don't try too hard to understand them. Trust us, we've spent 22 years trying to do that and we haven't made much progress. Just run to your nothing box and be happy. But getting back to the subject, all girls think that they want something, even though more than half of them do not actually want what they think they want. For example, a good portion of girls claim that they don't like guys who have really big muscles, guys who don't treat them right, guys with facial hair, etc. Then what happens? They start dating the guy that has a giant "I'm a douche" stamp right across his skank-tank wearing face. And these girls also have a poster of Thor, with his giant muscles and rugged facial hair. Then these girls end up angry that Captain D-bag dumps them, and they complain about how no nice guy wants them. Remember, nice guys do finish last, but only because they allow themselves to! This is for you too guys. If you notice with high school and college dating, it seems that nice guys never end up with nice girls, mainly because both finish last and they refuse to get with each other because they're "just friends."

This is where we issue all of you a challenge. In preparation for our next post, sometime this week go out and try to make something happen with a nice guy/girl who is "just a friend", and see what happens. It doesn't have to be anything serious, but just make it so that the nice guy/girl doesn't finish last, even if for only one day.

"Dating is all about who wins and who loses."

-Hank Hill

Off to the nothing box,

Quincy and Eric