It was a normal Saturday morning. Eric had woken and gone to the gym to keep his rippling muscles big and extremely toned, and Quincy was waking up from a hard night of amazingness. They gathered in the room of gathering to watch the first session of the 182nd semi-annual conference of la Iglesia de Jesucristo de los Santos de los Ultimos Dias, desde la manzana del templo en Salt Lake City, Utah. At 10 am, the conference began with singing and excitement. Eric and Quincy sat quietly, enjoying the sweet spirit that could be felt in their humble abode. President Thomas S. Monson stood up to the pulpit in his welcoming address and announced the 2 new temples that would be erected in the coming years; Tuscon, Arizona and Arequipa, Peru. "Darn" they thought "still no McAllen, Texas temple." They both noted that the dear prophet had listed these off in a very fast fashion. "Hmmm," said Eric "some serious stuff is about to go down."
That's when some serious stuff did go down. After talking about missionaries being 18 from different countries serving just as great as 19 year olds, Quincy knew that the age for missionaries was about to change. It did. No big deal that's only like a year less to prepare for some so hey it'll be fine. But then President Monson dropped the nuke on every guy in that conference. He didn't technically say this but in guys minds this is how it sounded, "Boys, there's gonna be a famine in the land. Not a famine of bread, nor of water, but a famine of girls. Why is that? Because we decided to drop the age to 19 for girls to go on a mission. Know that girl you've been planning things for/with you? Either get a move on or she will get her move on and drop you for a name tag. This won't have your last name on it." Quincy & Eric's mouths dropped.
Yeah you read that right; and if you're mormon or pay attention to mormon things at all, you definitely saw the facebook and twitter world explode at that very moment. Mormon culture just got flipped-turned upside-down. That's right, more girls are going to go on those 18 month adventures, and it won't be just because they can't get married or have been set on it their whole lives. How do we feel about it? You go girls, more power to ya. The only problem is that this completely screws over the upstanding gentlemen who have recently returned from honorable full-time missions and just haven't had the opportunity to find that special young lady with whom to share eternity. According to random made-up statistics based on how many phone calls/text messages Bishop received, approximately 75 % Girls in the 18-22 age bracket will be gone within the next year.
We know we got problems now. Maybe things will be better than we are expecting? But we like to focus on the doom and gloom. That's the way uh huh uh huh we like it. Ok. Honestly though the problem we have is that we haven't followed the prophets counsel which is, stocking up on our 2 year supply of girls. Now we are feeling the pressure. WE think that the prophet is sending out a good message to us guys. This message being, "Hey you don't wanna date these hotties? Alrighty then we will send them away for a year and a half. How do you like them apples?"
Yeah, it's all new and some of the hype will probably die down after a few weeks. And who knows, maybe all the girls are saying that they'll leave on missions just to get guys to ask them on more dates or get the wheels on the marriage wagon movin' a little bit faster. Or maybe they're serious and colleges all across Utah will be a giant sausage fest for the next two-ish years. No matter what happens, there is always more important things to focus on in life. Like football. How about that BYU-USU game the other night? Yeah garbage, we know. Sports is the best life partner that you can have; they don't leave for 18 months. But you also can't write a "Dear Jane" letter to sports. Girls will now experience what guys do on the mission. Prepare yourselves :) But honestly, good job. Get out there and teach the gospel because Elders just aren't very good at it. Baptize peeps! More good looking missionaries=more conversion to the gospel.
"So do all men who live to see such times. All we have to do is decide what to do with the time that is given to us." -Gandalf
Yeah,
Eric & Quincy
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